Chaos and Kilometres
Five kids, two parents, a bigass car and a single month to travel South Africa.
9.10.25 – 7.11.25
Real time. Right now. A road trip count down.
THE PREAMBLE
We’re going home!
The excitement is REAL. I’m not going to lie—we could die. It is South Africa. But it won’t be murderers, potholes or sharks that do it. The most likely cause of death: bugs. Four of five children (yes, all the girls!) would rather fling themselves out of the safari van and straight into an elephant tusk or a lion’s open jaws than face a Christmas Beetle.
Still, we think it’s worth the risk.
THE PLAN
Where to?
From London to JHB, and then…
Nelspruit to Cape Town
VIA
Marloth Park (next to Kruger) ~ Sabie (Mpumalanga) ~ Joburg (mom’s house) ~ Champagne Haven (Drakensburg) ~ Gariep Dam (Eastern Cape) ~ Graaff-Reinet (Eastern Cape/Groot Karoo) ~ Storms River (Eastern Cape/Garden Route) ~ Herold’s Bay (Garden Route/George) ~ Montagu (Western Cape) ~ Constantia (aunty’s house) ~ Simon’s Town (Cape Town)
…and then from CT back to JHB, and then back to London.
Estimated driving distance: 3289km (2044 miles)
The roads
South Africans will know that the roads are a thing.
In cities, be streetwise (always!) but at night especially.
- Be extra cautious at stop streets and robots.
- Watch for loiterers, beggars or suspicious people approaching your car.
- Avoid texting or being distracted at lights.
- No GPS Visible.
- Keep valuables, bags and phones out of sight – don’t mount your phone on the windscreen.
- Plan your route, make sure your phone is charged and you have enough petrol. Also make sure someone not with you, knows where you are going.
In rural areas, expect poor roads.
- Roads may be pothole-ridden, gravel or badly maintained – especially in remote towns.
- Watch out for animals: livestock (cattle, goats, donkeys) often wander freely onto roads.
- Prepare your vehicle.
- Petrol-up as often as possible.
- Download offline maps as signal can be unreliable.
- Avoid driving at night and if you do, drive slowly and carefully!
- Stay in touch: tell someone your route and estimated arrival time if possible.
- Expect slower travel times.
- Crime is generally lower than in cities but keep windows rolled up and doors locked – especially near small town junctions.
High drama? It’s part of the adventure 
Top tips & helpful websites
The logistics of a big family road trip can be daunting! Here’s how we did it.
- Lekkeslaap.co.uk – we booked all our accommodation on here!
- Wanderlog – super fun travel app. Only costs with pro features but the free version has all you loading and logging all your travel info.
- Find Penguins – a good way to keep friends and family in the loop when you’re travelling.
- This might be crazy but… we’re going to SA, for a month, with only backpacks. Imagine seven people’s luggage left in a car – one night in Joburg and cheers luggage, cheers car! We’ll probably take one big bag (I need somewhere to put all the biltong, fudge and sweets I plan on bringing back to London) but that will be mostly empty en route.
- Book your car insurance separately for a better deal. If you book insurance through the car hire, you will cry. We booked our car insurance from Coverforyou.com.
- Speaking to people who have travelled or road-tripped in the same areas you would like to go is really helpful. We were keen to do our own thing and craft our own adventure but it was great to hear from friends and family, especially about driving through the Eastern Cape, about the roads, safety and their favourite experiences.
Things we’re excited about
THE TRIP
#watchthisspace